Neuroshambles

In this long-overdue episode, Mark is joined by the brilliant Helen Daniel, who is a qualified teacher, sensory mentor, public speaker and founder of Outside the Box Sensory, as they dig into the myriad challenges of early years education and what it means for our neurodivergent kids.
Helen brings a unique perspective not only as a parent of an autistic child (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD), but also as a late-diagnosed autistic ADHD-er herself, and a former teacher who’s seen the system from the inside out. Together, she and Mark pick apart the weird rituals, unrealistic milestones and baffling expectations of primary school - and why it often ends up being a really poor fit for neurodivergent kids.
From sensory overload and academic gaslighting to the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), this one is jam-packed with insight, shared experiences and the usual healthy dose of humorous venting.
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STUFF WE COVER:00:00 – Intro & Listener Message01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.comFollow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensoryFollow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensoryHelen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academicsHeidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07cPete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.orgGrove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco
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CONTACT US
🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share?📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW US
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for.
They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether.
There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together.
Finally, there’s a celebration of the positive side: how being the lone neurotypical can be a privilege in its own right, helping you see the world from an entirely new perspective and become a better parent—and person—along the way.
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series)Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0GAngela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4
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CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us:
hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW USInstagram: instagram.com/neuroshamblesTikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespodFacebook: facebook.com/NeuroshamblesThreads: threads.net/@neuroshambles
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CREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay:https://pixabay.com/
 
Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

This episode shines a light on the tricky subject of parental burnout, which isn't widely discussed in relation to the challenges of raising neurodifferent kids. Mark chats with the magnificent Liz Evans of "The Untypical OT Talks" podcast, who is a parent of a 14-year old boy (undiagnosed neurotypical) and a 13-year old boy (diagnosed autistic, with sensory processing difficulties and suspected Ehlers Danlos Syndrome).
Liz discusses her own experiences of parental burnout, and shares her knowledge of how to spot the signs of impending burnout, before offering guidance on strategies we can implement to avoid it happening to us - because let's face it, many parents of neurodivergent kids are constantly dancing around the edges of it.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Together For Send Conference, Bristol - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/events/togetherforsend2025/
The Untypical OT website - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
The Untypical OT podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0L6K6RwcErY5Z9tggI40F3?si=d32fc06ab7ca4c60
The Untypical OT podcast (Heidi Mavir episode) - https://open.spotify.com/episode/49CtSzTKt8WStCL6bo8d5h?si=gVjZWlSgSj23eHJoMIGxWA
Workplace Burnout - https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
Brené Brown short film on Empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw?si=nRHnjrN2pb4jZ-W7
Super Good Bikers For Autism - https://www.supergoodbikersforautism.com/
The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

In this special episode, Mark speaks to Tam, who is his former partner, current co-parent and long time friend. They discuss the long and arduous diagnosis journeys of their three neuro-exceptional kids, who each followed completely different routes in the UK - from NHS/CAMHS and private diagnosis, to the "Right to Choose" pathway.
This is a uniquely intimate and candid episode, where both parents reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of seeking diagnoses for Jay (11, diagnosed autistic/ADHD), Otto (9, diagnosed autistic/ADHD) and India (suspected autistic/ADHD... until now).
By a strange quirk of fate, the recording date of this episode fell on the same day they received the results of India's autism assessment, so you can hear their reaction to this, just moments after receiving the news, as they consider what it now means for their family.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/
The Effra Clinic - https://www.effraclinic.co.uk/
Right To Choose - https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/
All Dogs Have ADHD - https://amzn.eu/d/8Tzq6dj
All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum - https://amzn.eu/d/byZg2mQ
ADHDUK - https://adhduk.co.uk/
Heba App (formerly Hibi) - https://www.heba.care/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

This episode takes a deep dive into why so many of our neurodivergent children feel the need to mask their autistic traits in social situations. Mark chats to fabulous guest, Pete Wharmby, who, as well as being a parent of a 10 year old girl (suspected autistic, but if anyone's going to be able to spot one, it's Pete), is also an author, a tutor, a conference speaker and a prolific advocate for the neurodivergent community. As an autistic/ADHD adult, he offers some frank and honest insights into some of the masking behaviours he employed when he was a child.
This fascinating and wide ranging conversation looks at what masking is, why our kids do it and the many strategies they use to hide their autistic traits in many staunchly neurotypical environments. They also discuss some masking strategies used by people with ADHD, before looking at the harmful impact masking can have in the long term if accommodations aren't made.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/
"Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh
Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn
University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication
Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/
Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/
Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower
"What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the experts who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying.
Mark talks to wonderful guest Charlotte Mountford, parent to three neurodivergent boys: a 17-year old (suspected autistic), a 14-year old (diagnosed autistic) and a 13-year old (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD). Mark and Charlotte swap stories of their own experiences with experts - both good and bad, and discuss how to react when you realise that you actually know more than the professional in front of you. 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4
Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ 
Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker
Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk
Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/
Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/
"Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO
"Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/
Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.educationBadger Education Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Badger.Education.Inclusive.SupportsBadger Education Free PDF - https://badger-education.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments-opt-in-2893
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Mark talks to the tremendous Rebecca Huseyin, who is a blogger, trainer, neurodiversity advocate and Mum of a neurodifferent son (13, diagnosed autistic with a PDA profile and suspected ADHD). They swap tales of the ludicrous lengths they go to when trying to navigate personal hygiene tasks, such as cleaning hands, wiping faces, brushing teeth, having baths, cutting fingernails and wiping bums.
There are some hilarious anecdotes of the lengths to which Mark and Rebecca go to encourage their kids to engage in hygiene tasks - from fake drowning them in the bath, cleaning their teeth like a Victorian ghost and introducing the concept of "special dry".
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
The Lighter Side of PDA Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LighterPDA/
Rebecca Huseyin blog (A Boy Less Ordinary) - https://aboylessordinary.com/
SENDIASS - (Google for your local county SENDIASS details)
PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
Proprioception and Interoception: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sensory-issues
Oranurse unflavoured toothpaste - https://oranurse.co.uk/unflavoured-toothpaste/
Little teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/little-teeth-toothpaste/
Big teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/big-teeth-toothpaste/
The Prism Cat - https://linktr.ee/KyraChambers  
Tesco Mobile Sensory Box - https://bettersociety.net/tesco-mobile-sensory-box.php
Insanity Arcade, Poole - https://www.insanityarcade.com/home
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Mark welcomes back the phenomenal Heidi Mavir, who is an  author, a neurodivergent advocate, activist, public speaker and Mum of a neurodifferent son (20, diagnosed autistic with a tic disorder, as well as suspected dyslexia and  Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). They pick up on a topic they very briefly touched on in the previous episode they recorded, which is whether there's any truth to the commonly-held belief that autistics don't feel empathy (spoiler alert - that view is abject nonsense).
They dissect the very concept of empathy to try and understand why it's viewed as so important to neurotypicals, what "the double empathy problem" is and why our kids' way of displaying and responding to empathy is so varied.
This is a genuinely insightful episode that gives a lot of food for thought when considering whether our own kids are able to feel empathy.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Heidi Mavir EOTAS Matters website - https://www.heidimavir.com/
"Your Child Is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir - https://amzn.eu/d/8di4y0X
"Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things?" by Pierre Novellie - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR
"How To Win Friends and Influence People" - https://amzn.eu/d/fd51tDR
The Double Empathy Problem - https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/
"I Didn't See You There" by Charlotte Gail - https://amzn.to/3PUk4n1
Sesame Street Introduce Autistic Character - https://youtu.be/dKCdV20zLMs
Muppet Christmas Carol - https://youtu.be/JXaVI60BFJM
Heidi Mavir on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@heidimavir
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

In response to several requests from listeners, this episode is all about the complexities of giving medication to our neurodivergent kids.
Mark speaks to the tremendous Danielle Jata-Hall, who is an author, award-winning blogger and a disability campaigner. She has three children (13, 11 and 8 - all diagnosed Autistic with a PDA profile, as well as a blend of ADHD, Anxiety and potential bipolar disorder).
Mark and Danielle discuss the medication journeys they've been on with their own kids, from overcoming their initial misgivings and dealing with the judgement of others, to the administrative nightmare of trying to get medication prescribed by medical professionals.
They compare different prescription pathways and share their experiences of the difficult process of titration - not to mention the rigamarole of actually getting their kids to take the medication we've fought so hard to get for them.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
"The Journey Into S.E.N.D Fatherhood" book - https://amzn.eu/d/0qwN0il
Danielle Jata-Hall blog - https://pdaparenting.com/
Newbold Hope -  https://www.newboldhope.com/
FII (Fabricated or Induced Illness) - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/fabricated-or-induced-illness/overview/
"The Parent's Guide to ADHD Medicines" book - https://amzn.eu/d/i2e73JM
Shared Care - https://www.england.nhs.uk/medicines-2/regional-medicines-optimisation-committees-advice/shared-care-protocols/
"I'm Not Upside Down, I'm Downside Up" book - https://amzn.eu/d/avsMxy2
"Black Rainbow" book - https://amzn.eu/d/he1Nd8K
"Steph's Two Girls" blog with tips on getting your child to take medication - https://www.stephstwogirls.co.uk/2020/01/top-tips-when-your-child-wont-take.html
"A boy less ordinary" blog - https://aboylessordinary.com/
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

What was it like to raise an autistic child 30 years ago? Mark has a fascinating chat with Stephanie - his wonderful neighbour from over the road, who has a 31 year old son (diagnosed autistic with moderate learning difficulties, OCD and anxiety). 
They discuss how parents of autistic children were able to navigate the process of understanding how best to raise their kids, without access to the internet, social media or the breadth of information we have available now? 
This is an enlightening and surprisingly uplifting episode, which shines a light on just how far society has come in a relatively short space of time, when it comes to understanding, supporting and championing our neurodivergent kids.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Disneyland, Paris - https://www.disneylandparis.com/en-gb/
Echolalia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia
The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle - https://amzn.eu/d/boDv6wN
Rain Man - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rain_Man
The Essential Different, Simon Baron Cohen - https://amzn.eu/d/3Y5xgWv
Gentle Parenting - https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/on-babies/202405/gentle-parenting-doesnt-mean-permissive-parenting
Leonardo Da Vinci - https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/leonardo-da-vinci-adhd-health-mona-lisa-a8927641.html
Social Stories - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/communication-tools/social-stories-and-comic-strip-coversations
Supported Employment - https://www.base-uk.org/about/members/brighton-hove-city-council
Fare Share - https://fareshare.org.uk/
Oxfam - https://jobs.oxfam.org.uk/jobs/home/
Leonardslee Gardens - www.leonardsleegardens.co.uk/
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/