Neuroshambles

In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids.
From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic.
Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep – and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow.
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated):00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews06:00 – “It's just a label”08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child"21:00 - "You let them win too much"22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?"26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant"28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy"31:00 - "Children just need boundaries"36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone"43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?"48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?"52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice"54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way"01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me"01:07:00 - The Positives01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins01:14:30 - What the Flip?01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell
"Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e
"The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm
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CONTACT US
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Mark takes a typically sideways look at the idea of hobbies – those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many neurodivergent families, are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown.
Joining him is the brilliant Nicole Bateman – podcast host (Conversations with a SEND Mum), former teacher, trainer, and founder of The Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when your kids are autistic, ADHD or PDA.
They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be.
 
STUFF WE COVER:
00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility13:00 – After-school clubs18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings39:00 – When your best intentions fail44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse?53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance59:00 – Drop-off disasters1:07:00 – What *does* work?1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/
Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/
Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/
Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/
Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT
“Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC
Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/
Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/ 
Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/
Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email smsportsolutions@gmail.com for information
 
CONTACT US
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
 
CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

This week, Mark dives into the chaotic, absurd and quite often traumatic world of shopping with neurodivergent children. If you’ve ever emerged from a supermarket having to impulse buy paracetamol just to get you through the shop, then this one’s for you.
Joining Mark is the brilliant Helen Stuart – a mum of six (four of her own and two step-children - all diagnosed or suspected neurodivergent), home educator, and co-founder of Thrive Together Training. Between them, they dissect the minefield of supermarkets, the unpredictability of meltdowns triggered by automatic doors, sensory overwhelm, the trauma of shopping for clothes, rage waiting, and the unholy panic when you realise the supermarket has unexpectedly moved everything around.
This is a laugh-out-loud, painfully relatable episode for anyone who has ever had lofty ambitions to do a quick “top up shop”, before ending up having to negotiate UN-level peace deals with your child in the frozen food aisle.
 
STUFF WE COVER:
00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!)1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk
Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show)
Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com
Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32
H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html
Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/
Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about
Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/
Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk
Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining
Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining
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CONTACT US
🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share?📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW US
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

In this long-overdue episode, Mark is joined by the brilliant Helen Daniel, who is a qualified teacher, sensory mentor, public speaker and founder of Outside the Box Sensory, as they dig into the myriad challenges of early years education and what it means for our neurodivergent kids.
Helen brings a unique perspective not only as a parent of an autistic child (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD), but also as a late-diagnosed autistic ADHD-er herself, and a former teacher who’s seen the system from the inside out. Together, she and Mark pick apart the weird rituals, unrealistic milestones and baffling expectations of primary school - and why it often ends up being a really poor fit for neurodivergent kids.
From sensory overload and academic gaslighting to the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), this one is jam-packed with insight, shared experiences and the usual healthy dose of humorous venting.
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STUFF WE COVER:00:00 – Intro & Listener Message01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.comFollow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensoryFollow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensoryHelen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academicsHeidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07cPete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.orgGrove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco
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CONTACT US
🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share?📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW US
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for.
They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether.
There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together.
Finally, there’s a celebration of the positive side: how being the lone neurotypical can be a privilege in its own right, helping you see the world from an entirely new perspective and become a better parent—and person—along the way.
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series)Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0GAngela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4
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CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us:
hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW USInstagram: instagram.com/neuroshamblesTikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespodFacebook: facebook.com/NeuroshamblesThreads: threads.net/@neuroshambles
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CREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay:https://pixabay.com/
 
Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

This episode shines a light on the tricky subject of parental burnout, which isn't widely discussed in relation to the challenges of raising neurodifferent kids. Mark chats with the magnificent Liz Evans of "The Untypical OT Talks" podcast, who is a parent of a 14-year old boy (undiagnosed neurotypical) and a 13-year old boy (diagnosed autistic, with sensory processing difficulties and suspected Ehlers Danlos Syndrome).
Liz discusses her own experiences of parental burnout, and shares her knowledge of how to spot the signs of impending burnout, before offering guidance on strategies we can implement to avoid it happening to us - because let's face it, many parents of neurodivergent kids are constantly dancing around the edges of it.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Together For Send Conference, Bristol - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/events/togetherforsend2025/
The Untypical OT website - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
The Untypical OT podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0L6K6RwcErY5Z9tggI40F3?si=d32fc06ab7ca4c60
The Untypical OT podcast (Heidi Mavir episode) - https://open.spotify.com/episode/49CtSzTKt8WStCL6bo8d5h?si=gVjZWlSgSj23eHJoMIGxWA
Workplace Burnout - https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
Brené Brown short film on Empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw?si=nRHnjrN2pb4jZ-W7
Super Good Bikers For Autism - https://www.supergoodbikersforautism.com/
The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

In this special episode, Mark speaks to Tam, who is his former partner, current co-parent and long time friend. They discuss the long and arduous diagnosis journeys of their three neuro-exceptional kids, who each followed completely different routes in the UK - from NHS/CAMHS and private diagnosis, to the "Right to Choose" pathway.
This is a uniquely intimate and candid episode, where both parents reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of seeking diagnoses for Jay (11, diagnosed autistic/ADHD), Otto (9, diagnosed autistic/ADHD) and India (suspected autistic/ADHD... until now).
By a strange quirk of fate, the recording date of this episode fell on the same day they received the results of India's autism assessment, so you can hear their reaction to this, just moments after receiving the news, as they consider what it now means for their family.
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/
The Effra Clinic - https://www.effraclinic.co.uk/
Right To Choose - https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/
All Dogs Have ADHD - https://amzn.eu/d/8Tzq6dj
All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum - https://amzn.eu/d/byZg2mQ
ADHDUK - https://adhduk.co.uk/
Heba App (formerly Hibi) - https://www.heba.care/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

This episode takes a deep dive into why so many of our neurodivergent children feel the need to mask their autistic traits in social situations. Mark chats to fabulous guest, Pete Wharmby, who, as well as being a parent of a 10 year old girl (suspected autistic, but if anyone's going to be able to spot one, it's Pete), is also an author, a tutor, a conference speaker and a prolific advocate for the neurodivergent community. As an autistic/ADHD adult, he offers some frank and honest insights into some of the masking behaviours he employed when he was a child.
This fascinating and wide ranging conversation looks at what masking is, why our kids do it and the many strategies they use to hide their autistic traits in many staunchly neurotypical environments. They also discuss some masking strategies used by people with ADHD, before looking at the harmful impact masking can have in the long term if accommodations aren't made.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/
"Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh
Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn
University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication
Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/
Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/
Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower
"What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the experts who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying.
Mark talks to wonderful guest Charlotte Mountford, parent to three neurodivergent boys: a 17-year old (suspected autistic), a 14-year old (diagnosed autistic) and a 13-year old (diagnosed autistic, suspected ADHD). Mark and Charlotte swap stories of their own experiences with experts - both good and bad, and discuss how to react when you realise that you actually know more than the professional in front of you. 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4
Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ 
Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker
Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk
Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/
Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/
"Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO
"Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/
Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.educationBadger Education Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Badger.Education.Inclusive.SupportsBadger Education Free PDF - https://badger-education.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments-opt-in-2893
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Mark talks to the tremendous Rebecca Huseyin, who is a blogger, trainer, neurodiversity advocate and Mum of a neurodifferent son (13, diagnosed autistic with a PDA profile and suspected ADHD). They swap tales of the ludicrous lengths they go to when trying to navigate personal hygiene tasks, such as cleaning hands, wiping faces, brushing teeth, having baths, cutting fingernails and wiping bums.
There are some hilarious anecdotes of the lengths to which Mark and Rebecca go to encourage their kids to engage in hygiene tasks - from fake drowning them in the bath, cleaning their teeth like a Victorian ghost and introducing the concept of "special dry".
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
The Lighter Side of PDA Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LighterPDA/
Rebecca Huseyin blog (A Boy Less Ordinary) - https://aboylessordinary.com/
SENDIASS - (Google for your local county SENDIASS details)
PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
Proprioception and Interoception: https://www.autismspeaks.org/sensory-issues
Oranurse unflavoured toothpaste - https://oranurse.co.uk/unflavoured-toothpaste/
Little teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/little-teeth-toothpaste/
Big teeth toothpaste - https://www.aquafresh.com/en-gb/our-products/kids-oral-care/big-teeth-toothpaste/
The Prism Cat - https://linktr.ee/KyraChambers  
Tesco Mobile Sensory Box - https://bettersociety.net/tesco-mobile-sensory-box.php
Insanity Arcade, Poole - https://www.insanityarcade.com/home
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/